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Sarah Palin Drops Her Puck

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Where is Sarah Palin? Has Waldo seen her? Are they both at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands looking for Jimmy Hoffa?

Don’t we have the Election of the 21st Century closing in fast? Shouldn’t she be busy? Where is the Governor of Alaska? Is she about to drop another hockey puck at a Philadelphia Flyers game?

America needs answers.

On a magnificent autumn day in Pennsylvania and the Middle Atlantic States, Senators John McCain and Barrack Obama, early risers, both, are slugging it out in Virginia, where the leaves haven’t yet hit their colorful fall peak this October, but where 13 electoral votes are still there for the taking.

Obama is on his way to a rally in Saint Louis, Missouri, where he will draw 100,000 people to see him in the largest city in a state with 11 electoral votes.

Senator Joe Biden is sounding more and more like his edgy, in-your-face self out in a place called Lancaster, Ohio, carrying the flag for the Democrats, screaming himself hoarse and saying anything he can think of to keep our focus squarely on this battle-ground state’s fiercely contested 20 electoral votes.

This is big time politics. This is playing for all the marbles.
But, where is Sarah Palin and what is she doing?

McCain, Obama and Biden are important people, doing important things, with hard-hitting campaign promises in states that will decide the Presidential election.
So, where the heck is America’s new “it” mom, Governor Sarah Palin?

Less than three weeks before the election, this seems like a fair question. After all, isn’t this the woman who saved John McCain’s bacon during the dullest Republican National Convention in history? Was that two months ago, or two years ago?

Remember Maine

Well, I can tell you how Governor Palin was dressed today – another one of her trademark, red, waist-hugging jackets. The up-swept bun was in place and the mom-glasses were perched at exactly the right spot on her un-photo-retouched nose (How rude of you, Newsweek).

Governor Palin was standing at a microphone talking about a civic activist group called ACORN and their hyper-aggressive voter registration efforts. She makes it sound like Josef Stalin and Ho Chi Minh are leading an ACORN conspiracy to benefit Senator Obama. And here, the only thing we knew about ACORN was that it used to try to stop mortgage red-lining in the poorest neighborhoods in Philadelphia.
Here’s an even better question – Why is Sarah Palin in the wilderness of Maine, in the middle of October, where there are more trees and moose than people, and all of a piddling four – count them, one, two, three, four – electoral votes?

We could be making a big mistake here, but the Palin-McCain ticket is beginning to omit the sickly-sweet scent of a campaign that is already starting to ask itself — What do we do when it’s over? Where do we go next?

Well, we know what Sarah Palin is up to next; she’s making an appearance on Saturday Night Live, right there, in person, in the flesh, with the incomparable Tina Fey. And the election clock keeps ticking.

It is beginning to unravel now, and that is never a pretty thing to see.

Senator McCain is still clinging to a nobody named Joe-the-Plumber, even though Joe has been famously discredited as not being a plumber, at all, and some distinctly unheroic stuff about his background is coming out, little-by-little.

Joe-the-P is a nobody who walked up to Barack Obama on the campaign trail and announced that he had nearly $300,000 in loose change burning a hole in his pocket and he was thinking of investing in a plumbing business. What could Obama do for him?

Yes, that’s pretty creepy, in my opinion. I don’t have $300,000 in loose change. When I think about investing, I usually think about investing in a $4.50 cheesesteak for lunch, or a ten-pack of Septa bus tokens. Sorry, Joe-the-P, but you are way out of my league, I identify with you like I identify with Warren Buffet – but Buffet has good manners.

Earth-to-McCain-and-Palin: The “little” people out there, the ones sweating their bills and utility company shut-off notices, don’t have almost $300,000 to invest in a small business. Nobody cares about Joe-the-Plumber. You two are the only ones laughing.

Dropping the Puck

We are seeing the beginning of the end now. It all came undone about a week ago. That’s when Sarah Plain was making one of her frequent trips to Philadelphia – she was here so much that for a while there you almost thought she might have been establishing a temporary residency long enough to enter a new beauty pageant.

In reality, of course, she was just raising money and lying low, hiding from the national press. She hosted an event during one of those hush-hush pre-Biden debate weekend visits.

The enormously rich man who owns the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team, Ed Snyder, who could also own all the politicians he wants, stopped by her invitation-only party and had a drink. He also wrote a check. He does that sort of thing like the rest of us paste on a stamp and mail a letter. No hidden agenda there.

A couple weeks later, the Flyers were getting set to open their National Hockey League season. A local radio station had already run a contest to select the real Hockey Mom of the Year. She seemed like a lovely, deserving woman.

That’s when some marketing genius decided to horn in on the real hockey mom’s night by running Sarah Palin out there on the ice and stealing the real mom’s thunder.

It is never a smart idea to big-time people like that in the city of Philadelphia. You also don’t want to screw around with their sports teams.

Let’s put it this way – it was not a good night for the clueless Governor of Alaska.
The booing started hours before when she was checking into a hotel on Broad Street.

Guys were running the street, lighting flairs, holding up some pretty bad signs and yelling like they do at Flyers games. Philadelphia Police had a busy night out there, too. Philadelphia’s Democrat registration edge is about 8-to-1.

Once they arrived in the arena at the foot of Broad Street, it didn’t get any better. The Flyers were playing the New York Rangers and they have guy who was born in Anchorage, Alaska. Governor Palin kept getting her picture taken with him. Wisely, she did not stay for the whole game.

Governor Palin left Philadelphia early during that trip. But, according to broadcast reports, she kept the hockey puck she dropped as a souvenir.

Last season, the Philadelphia Flyers made one of those rare last-to-first turnarounds.

Ever since their night of Sarah Palin as a phony Philadelphia Hockey Mom, the Flyers have barely even scored and seem to be intent on making it a first-to-last season.

Hockey fans are not happy. All of them keep complaining about Sarah Palin showing up to shove politics down their hockey-loving throats.

When it is less than three weeks before the Presidential election and everybody else is out doing important things in important places and you are running for Vice President, but they still have you hidden up in Maine, with its four electoral votes – well, things like that don’t happen by accident. Sarah Palin dropped the puck.

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