Sarah Palin Shoots Her Moose
We should have guessed that it would come down to this: Alaska State Trooper Mike Wooten, who used to be married to Governor Sarah Palin’s sister, Molly, was accused of illegally shooting a moose.
That’s part of the amusingly convoluted case against Wooten that the Governor and her family created in their scorched-earth war on Mr. Wooten.
They also claimed that he used his Taser gun (or threatened to) on assorted Palin family members, Governor Sarah, presumably, among them. I bet the moose up there wished that Tasers were the worst things they ever had aimed at them.
We know all this because the Alaska state legislature is in the process of wasting still more tax dollars (of course, we’re talking millions here) on an investigation into just how scandalously Governor Sarah abused her official power to try to have Wooten fired, punished, ruined and, in general, gotten-even-with.
In fact, someone connected with the state legislature just announced that they are “fast-tracking” the investigation to get it completed before November “in fairness to the Governor.”
Oh, No! You are thinking, does that sound like a whitewash and a cover-up, or what?
Yes, it certainly does. Maybe there’s a reason we don’t yet know about that explains why the Russians were so anxious and happy to sell us Alaska in the first place.
Trooper Wooten, for his part, probably more surprised than anyone else in the United States that Gov. Palin somehow found her way on to the Republican ticket, has stated that he holds “no ill will against anybody.”
Yeah, right. That would also make him the first husband in any divorce case in the history of mankind who bore no ill will against anybody.
One question keeps making me get up and walk into the bathroom in the middle of the night. With an economy that looks more and more like it’s-fallen-down-and-it-can’t- get-up, why do I (and most of America) know far more about the Palins and their squalid little soap operas of lives than we do about what John McCain will do to fix the economy?
Here’s another one: Why do we all know that Sarah Palin claims to shoot moose legally (Is there a correct plural? Will Katie Couric tell us?) in contrast to her despised former brother-in-law, who shoots them illegally?
If all this is beginning to sound like borderline madness, don’t blame us. I heard from an old friend today who called and announced, “So, what do you think about this girl McCain put on his ticket?” There was the sound of hope and conviction in his voice.
I think I was supposed to say that I was thrilled and that my life could now end happy and fulfilled because McCain had had the last laugh on his fellow Americans by front-loading his stalled ticket with a failed beauty pageant contestant from Idaho who shoots moose and is proud of it.
I didn’t say that, but just mumbled that I was very unimpressed with Governor Palin. The guy practically hung up on me. But, isn’t that exactly what politics is supposed to do: turn friend against friend and brother against brother – not to mention in-laws against former sons-in-law.
Keep in mind, that John McCain, who miraculously survived five years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, is the mastermind behind all this. McCain is in destructible. You have to give him his due. The entire nation of North Vietnam underestimated him and so did his Republican and Democrat political foes, beginning with Mitt Romney (and how good does Mike Huckabee look right now?) and probably ending with Senator Barack Obama.
Which brings us to the point of all this, namely, that John McCain survived his imprisonment by distracting himself and his mind and spirit by thinking other, better thoughts instead of dwelling on the direness of his situation at the Hanoi Hilton.
What if he’s doing the same thing now? What if he’s teaching us the only rule in politics that counts: No matter how noble your intentions, you can’t do a thing about saving the world until you win and put yourself in office.
Barack Obama said that he picked the tough, estimable Senator Joe Biden as a running mate because it was the right thing to do and because Biden would “help me govern.”
Wow! What idealistic generosity of spirit. There’s only one problem. Left unsaid is the fact that at a very premature point in the 2008 campaign Senator Obama obviously felt that he had the whole thing wrapped up; he didn’t have to worry about John McCain. He didn’t even have to worry about the almost 20 million Democrat voters who hated him because he wasn’t Senator Hilary Clinton.
He had it wrapped up. Barack Obama was getting ready to govern. He had anointed himself President and he was getting ready to pick out his cabinet, beginning with Joe Biden. That’s a little presumptuous.
Meanwhile, John McCain was getting ready to win, once again getting ready to survive. That’s how you manage to get out of a North Vietnamese prison camp, alive and relatively well, and prepared to get on with what’s left of your life.
And maybe John McCain reached all the way back to his Hanoi Hilton days and gave us Sarah Palin and her family soap opera and rimless glasses and hockey mom up-do to distract us from the really bad, distressing stuff, like war and economic meltdown, until he could put himself in a position to win and get on with it.
If that’s the case, that offers a whole new spin on “presidential.”Tags: Election, Moose, Palin